


Spring in Xing is Such a Fling

by SonjaJade



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Festivals, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 12:13:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10464693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonjaJade/pseuds/SonjaJade
Summary: Edward is absolutely appalled at being in Xing during their most perverted festival ever. Al seems right at home however.





	

The first thing they saw when they got off the train on the edge of Xing was a giant pink penis covered in white papery looking charms.  The Amestrians turned a bright shade of pink as well, then their jaws dropped when an old woman hobbled over to it, clapped her hands and bowed her head, and then _kissed_ it.  They scurried off the platform and searched the station for Al and Mei.

Unfortunately, there were phallic objects everywhere, many people wearing them around their necks and carrying one in their hands.  “Fuckin’ perverts,” Ed hissed as he tried to ignore the children who were dueling with rather freakish sized ones as if they were swords.  Finally, he spotted his brother and tugged Winry along behind him.

“Ah, there you are, Ed!” Al called out, waving a intricately painted phallus of his own.  He started laughing when he caught sight of their embarrassed faces.  “What’s wrong, you’ve never seen a penis before?  I mean I know yours is little and all, but-”

“What in the goddamn _fuck_ is going on here!?” Ed growled.  “If I wanted to see a giant dick I woulda gone to see Mustang!” 

Meanwhile Al waggled the wooden carving he was carrying under his brother’s nose.  “C’mon, brother!  Kiss my _jiba_!”

Mei shook her head and offered Ed and Winry smaller ones to wear around their necks.  “You’ve arrived during the peak of our spring festival.  Today is the day we ask for many healthy babies.  It’s good luck for conception to offers prayers and thanks to the gods by wearing or carrying carved _jibas_.”

Winry fingered the little green penis now dangling from her neck.  “What does _jiba_ mean?”

“Cock,” Al smiled.  “Dick, willy, wiener, ding-dong, pee-pee; boy parts!”

“Great,” Ed said as he looked down at the fat little red _jiba_ dangling from the cord around his neck.  “I get to visit the most perverted country in the universe during its most perverted festival.  The only thing that could make this worse is if Ling’s got some kind of nationwide orgy planned.”

Al cocked his head and looked at the sky, “Well…”

The passersby in the cramped station all looked at the golden haired foreigner shouting angrily in Amestrian, unable to fathom what had him so upset.


End file.
